These are just a compilation of words and photographs.
At least I am not talking through a lipstick painted fist,
opening and closing like Señor Wences. But I could be.
Perhaps we are all both voyeurs and memorializers.
I live on this planet and when I am gone I hope to leave
even a small trace that says “I existed…here is my middle fingerprint”.
I just noticed that some folks are reading and looking at what I put here. It made me change my “About-ness”. Originally it was a bit caustic because I sometimes feel caustic. But actually I thought I was talking to myself all this time. No, I’m not trying to be disingenuous or naive. I’m sure there must be others who write in isolation.
Surprisingly, when I realized someone might actually have taken more than a glance, I was embarrassed. Which is why I write my posts. I am incredibly shy and I’ve been known to say a complete sentence backwards when speaking to strangers. Oh, I can talk…a lot but then when I go back to my solitary home I wonder if people’s jaws gape naturally or if I’m just weird. I have grown accustomed to feeling slightly out of focus.
I grew up alone in a family of six, my middle name is “contingency”, when I was a child I would say hello to my future grown up self and yes I’ve caught those greetings as I grew.
Life has never made much sense to me so I’ve made a sense of this life. I am a watcher. Even today I laugh to myself that I’ve made it this far in life. I read all through my life, in fact one of my earliest memories was looking at a book and feeling desperate to understand the printed words. Believe me, it didn’t take long…I had read so much that when I was forced to go to school I would just sit back, push my catholic school beanie over my face and stare at the world through a blue haze while the teachers were instructing us about reading.
To this day I still am so happy I don’t ever have to go to school again. College and grad school don’t count since they weren’t mandatory and I could pick what interested me and I actually graduated summa cum laude with a perfect 4.0 in undergrad school but that was only because I was competing against myself. I’m not a good loser.
I spent many years on Usenet under the name Satchi from the early 1990’s until it got flushed down the toilet. I miss it. I was active in Alt.Religion.Kibology & Alt.Usage.English (where I was fondly known as “The Green Grocer girl”). I don’t have time to explain why. If you are into linguistics it should be obvious. I actually made the “Best of Usenet Humor” quite a few times which always amazes me when you consider the thousands & thousands of Usenet groups. You can check out this link for Satchi here: https://groups.google.com/forum/#!searchin/alt.humor.best-of-usenet/satchi
if it still works to see some of my old posts that are included. Or type Satchi in the topic bar. Or don’t.
So, to wrap up, I am a loner by nature, a watcher of life, my social skills are horrendous but I don’t care. Give me a book or better yet open the world to me via the internet, give me some place to write whatever I feel like and I am content.
Finally, I didn’t ask to be born and I deeply resent it because now I have a lot of moral and ethical and religious stuff to contend with and then there is always the fucking problem of exiting.